Stop! Stop right now! I guess this month I'm just about to tear my hair out listening to people. Was sitting with this mother the other day. Her daughter was 9 years old. "Is she competitive?" I asked. "No, she just dances for fun. Nothing serious." Arrrrrrgh Can you see my face start to mutate? Ok, here's why I have such an attitude.
If competition is not for you, then ok, it's not for you. Not everyone has to compete to be successful. I haven't seen many noncompetitive dancers who have great skills, but there are a few. NYC has a lot of 'already professional' noncompetitive dancers who are amazing, but I haven't really seen it in the suburbs.
But saying she dances "just for fun" is like saying "Don't blame her if she sucks, we're just paying out all this money and wasting the classes time because we're not really serious." "She doesn't really have to pay attention, because it's just for fun." "She doesn't really have to learn safe dancing because it's just for fun." "It's ok if she goes on stage at the end of the year and embarrasses the hell out of herself because it's just for fun." "It's ok to be mediocre because it's just for fun." If it's just for fun then take her to the YMCA! Let me put it more simply. The people I hear saying "It's just for fun." usually have kids who are fat or lazy or kids who have real potential, but because they can't throw a triple pirouette in the first class their parents think they have no skill. Um .... that's why kids take lessons .... to gain skill.
Question: If you are making the effort to pay a qualified teacher to learn dance and you are making the time commitment to show up to class and purchase dance clothes and costumes and practice, why wouldn't you want to gain some skill out of the whole process? Give your kid a chance! Having skill is fun, dancing skillfully is great fun. So why not learn the skill correctly and learn what real fun is all about instead of giving the kid a great excuse to slack off and be less than great!
A child's road to success will always run into a wall. As a parent you will either be a road block or help your child climb over the wall. Making excuses for a child when a child is that young equals "road block". Encourage them to do their best and learn the skill correctly from the start. Please!
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1 comment:
What an excellent analogy. I'm a serious oil painter and I am constantly learning and pushing myself. I have goals and won't achieve them without discipline. Discipline is not my middle name either. It takes work and committment. It is not ok to be mediocre although it does sell well.
Too well in fact, but that's another post.
You are helping your child with your attitude.
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